My Wonderful Aunt
Part1 1. This paragraph has a pattern of listing-order paragraph. It also has transition signals, so I can read and understand it easily.
2. The most marvelous woman whom I admire most thank to 3 major reasons is my aunt.
3. The writer should add some actions more to show that all his aunt has done for him is not because of duties but love.
4. -You should delete some sentence that does not relate to the main idea of the story. For example, “She has got long black hair, brown eyes, and a slim figure.”
-You should combine 2 sentences that have same pronoun because repeating the same subject does not give the feeling of smooth in reading. For example, “she is very smart and successful. She extremely succeeds in her career.” It would be better if we exchange to, “she is very smart and successful who extremely succeeds in her career.”
5. There are no any grammatical mistakes.
2. The most marvelous woman whom I admire most thank to 3 major reasons is my aunt.
3. The writer should add some actions more to show that all his aunt has done for him is not because of duties but love.
4. -You should delete some sentence that does not relate to the main idea of the story. For example, “She has got long black hair, brown eyes, and a slim figure.”
-You should combine 2 sentences that have same pronoun because repeating the same subject does not give the feeling of smooth in reading. For example, “she is very smart and successful. She extremely succeeds in her career.” It would be better if we exchange to, “she is very smart and successful who extremely succeeds in her career.”
5. There are no any grammatical mistakes.
Part2 C=3, O=2, V=3, G=3, S=3
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